Blog Posts

How to Lose Friends. Period.

15 04 18 how to lose friends

Hi Rachael.

I read your post 3-D Lashes, Jamberry & Other Ways to Lose Facebook Friends on Scary Mommy yesterday after Julie, my REAL FB Friend, shared the link in a DM and even though you’re a NY Times Best Selling author, I’ve never heard of you. I read it anyways. Approximately 3 paragraphs later, I realized that you knew absolutely nothing about the networking industry and so instead of adding you into yet another Facebook group (I know you’re over those) I thought I’d write you back.  Here.  On my blog.

OH BOY.  I think you’ve already lost friends.  Period.  So let me help you make amends.  Just a favor from me, to you…oh and BTW I’m sharing it with the other 16.3 million people who make a part-time or full-time living peddling ‘crap’ you don’t want.

Here’s the thing —


You seem nice, or rather you did three paragraphs into my reading of your viral blog, so I’m going to cut right to the chase and give you a little bit of education: you have just insulted a $32 billion dollar industry that has developed some NY Times Best Selling authors of its own.

Zig Ziglar.  Ever heard of him?  His book See You At The Top changed my husband’s life back in high school in the 80s and has impacted millions of people since then.  It’s still ranked #17,782 on Amazon just behind your book I Just Want To Pee Alone, so life-changing and helpful I’m sure.  Wait. His book was published in 1982.  Where will your book be in 30 years?

Now, before you get your ego panties in a twist, let me explain: I’ve done my time. I’ve hosted parties for my friends who have businesses in Thirty One, Stella and Dot, Pampered Chef and Tastefully Simple and I’ve attended many more.

I’ve also coached women in the direct selling industry since 2010 (longer than you’ve had your blog) and I’ve interviewed top women leaders who are all very successful in their companies.  In fact I have one this week with Jenny Hillenburg who was the first Thirty One consultant and makes over $1 million per year.  Want to come?  Wait.  No. You don’t.

I used to be nice, too, and I would never have written this blog back to you.  But I too am sick of it.  I’m sick of all the misinformation that gets spread around and stigmatizes those who are professionals in this industry.

But you know what happens? It. Never. Stops.

I’m NOT done. I always make a concerted effort to buy whatever I can from people I ACTUALLY KNOW and LOVE.  Isn’t that what supporting small business is all about?

Listen, I get it! YOU want independence; a way to make YOUR own money from home. YOU have a blog.  I’m super happy that you’ve found a “sisterhood,” as you call it. Sounds like you’ve discovered an amazing business model in which most people get paid NOTHING. Except if you’re a NY Times Best Seller.

I will lose my shit if I have to hear one more ignorant person put down a mom who owns her own business in the hopes of spending some more quality time with her family and MAYBE not having to go back to a 9-5 job.

Gene Landrum, founder of Chuck E. Cheese, and I had lunch a month ago.  He knows this model of business quite well.  It is no different than buying a Subway franchise or owning a real estate brokerage. So why are you confused about a ‘pyramid scheme’. Don’t eat at Subway again or take your kids to Chuck E. Cheese. Ok?

What is with all these groups? I mean groups of mom bloggers who use their platform to put their readers down?  Have you considered that?  I’m guessing many of your readers have a business you are criticizing…in public.  Wait! I get it.  They’re not friends they’re just readers there to help you monetize your blog and to buy your next book.  No means no. I don’t want to read another blog from another mom who is making money building her business.  I just want it to all be free!  That’s the way the world works, right?!  Here’s the thing, if you stress binged all the spicy Buffalo chicken dip at a party you said ‘yes’ to attend that’s your issue.  Just say ‘no’…it’s a very powerful word.  Duh.

Free samples. What a concept.  Does Target or Wal-Mart hand out free samples?  Didn’t think so.  I guess you just don’t appreciate the effort your friend is making to help you. You’d rather buy 3 different foundations and throw the 2 that don’t match your complexion into the garbage.  Or maybe you just don’t’ shop at all.  Or you’re not interested to try to switch your shopping dollar over to the MOMTREPRENEUR, as you call them.

I get it, you don’t want to buy a fajita pan, much less turquoise from my kitchen island, you don’t want to try on clothes using my hall closet as a dressing room and you definitely don’t have any smelly candles in your home. You’re obviously the perfect weight. You have flawless skin.  You don’t need make-up.  That’s awesome. Good for you. And the next time you go get a massage at the Hyatt I recommend you skip the essential oils part of it.  Since you obviously don’t like that either. Sound harsh?  Because it is.

But we do agree on one thing.  The real thing that chaps me too is the exploiting of friendships to gain new recruits. That’s a rookie mistake. Compare your Facebook experience to dating.  There are those guys who are desperate and come on too strong.  What happens?  You run!  Then there are those who are sweet but you’re just not interested.  You have to give the soft let-down or endure a date.  Your choice.  Ultimately there is the ONE that you know was meant for you.  We don’t quit dating or pre-judge men entirely just because there are some players out there!

Didn’t you make any rookie mistakes when you started your blog back in 2012?  Let me get out my crystal ball and look back in time. You reached out to some big time bloggers and they totally ignored you?  You were probably over-eager and annoying too. And maybe, just maybe you got your feelings hurt, someone wrote a mean blog about you.  You learned who you could count on for support and at some point you had to meet (or shall I say ‘network’ with) new bloggers too. Yes my crystal ball never lies!

So don’t throw out the baby with the bath water.  Just because your new Facebook friend (who might I add you accepted as a friend) is eager to promote their business and is going about it the wrong way you have the right to just sit back and let them learn.  That’s what friends do.  That’s how we all grow.

Did you forget? You too are selling products to your “friends.” Let’s see, amazon ads all over your blog (please click me so I get ten cents!), featuring the book you’ve written (please buy one so I can get $1.00 royalty). The whole thing reeks of a monetized blog, no matter how pretty the package. This is just my opinion, of course; I could be wrong. Heh. In fact, TELL me I’m wrong! You want to hear the success stories, and how the dolla dolla bills are rolling in?  You got it!

Let’s see…I’ll name just a few of the ladies I’ve recently interviewed who are my REAL friends and have REAL successful businesses.

How about Cherie Rodriguez.  Elementary school teacher, turned stay-at-home mom, who ordered a Thirty-One bag from a catalog 4 years ago.  She ended up buying the $99 business kit on the prompting of her cousin ‘just to get out of the house’ and four years later she’s the top 24 in her company, speaking to thousands, making over $200k a year. Oh yeah, and she retired her husband from the Army and runs her business from home.

Or should I mention Paulette Roy.  She and her husband work their business together.  They saw the opportunity available in network marketing over 20 years ago.  They have built their business with Mannatech a company that holds over 100 patents on their products and live a beautiful life here in Naples, FL.

Or how about Beth Liepold, mother of 2, who built her business and now also receives health insurance for life through Juice Plus?  Health insurance!  It’s not just ‘fun’ money.

Lindsey Catarino built her Beachbody business in 14 months and at month 16 left the banking industry and a VP job offer because she had already replaced her income.  This year she’s on target to make $1 million.

They all have helped thousands of people learn how to get healthy, have fun and build a business that works for their family.  That’s no easy job.

Also I see you’re wondering how much money has gone out? Hmm? How much money have you spent building your blogging business?  Kind of a weird question.  The better question is how much TIME and ENERGY have we all spent?

That’s the real point.  Collectively as moms, as business women, why not just make it a point to support one another and buy from one another, rather than putting down moms who have chosen to build a business?

Network marketing gives everyone a chance to be an owner.  You get to buy into a business model that’s turn-key without an upfront investment of tens of thousands of dollars and the huge overhead.  All you have to do is find a product line that fits in with your life and learn how to work the business.  It’s flexible.  You can join to get discounted products, be around a positive community of people and/or earn a part-time or full-time income.  Your choice.

My friend Tina Black, the owner of 3 Paul Mitchell Hair Design Schools recently told me that she encourages all of her hair stylists to get involved with network marketing.  It just makes sense.

Why? Because the average millionaire has 7 streams of income.  Do you?

In closing, to sum up and come full circle on this…

While I have friends in many companies and I have stayed neutral for some time now my friend Danielle Russo-Slugh introduced me to a great health and wellness company. I already buy protein powder and live a healthy lifestyle so that model and product made sense to me. I would encourage you to reconsider and check out some of these opportunities to add to your blog business as well.

But for now, don’t worry, I know you’re already in your size 4 jeans and so I won’t bother to invite you to a 30-day challenge.

So, OK then — good talk. Buh bye.

Will you join me?  IT’S TIME TO SAY YES TO YOUR DREAM LIFE TODAY.  Take one step. Just one. 

IF you are serious about creating network marketing success you are in the right place! I challenge you to comment below, get honest, get vulnerable and declare what you want 52 weeks from now.