“Forgiveness is the great release from time. It is the key to learning that the past is over.” ~Course in Miracles
The past is over. That is a fact. But unless we forgive, the past will continue to live in our minds affecting our present. Eckhart Tolle says it this way, “With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves, and your true power emerges – the power of presence. Instead of blaming the darkness you bring in the light.”
Think about your past for a moment. What have you done that, in your eyes, is unforgivable? Did you have an abortion? Did you cheat on your spouse? Did you say something you wish you hadn’t that caused someone else pain? Maybe you were living in ignorance and now you have the knowledge that you could have done things differently? What has someone done to you that you think is unforgivable? Maybe someone treated you poorly. Maybe you felt unloved and used by someone. Maybe you were hurt emotionally or physically, or sexually? Although these things are very difficult to bear, and forgiveness may seem to be the farthest thing from your mind, it is possible, even necessary, to forgive.
Choosing not to forgive ourselves and others only clouds our own lives with darkness. It causes us to blame others for our current circumstances. It separates us from our source of power. Unforgiveness gives our power away to others and traps us in a pattern of blame. Forgiveness, however, releases us from that dark cloud and allows that dangerous victim identity to dissolve. It allows us to bring in the light. When we forgive our power is restored back to us and we are free!
Yes, the past is over. But are you still living it daily? Is it still part of your life? How would you know if it is? Here are a few questions to ask yourself: Is there someone who I never want to see again? Is there someone I feel negativity towards when the thought of them comes to mind? Is there some past event that evokes a strong emotional response in me when it is brought up? Does it bring tears to my eyes? Does my heart feel heavy? Does my body feel anxious? Do I feel anger or rage or guilt or shame? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions then you could benefit from the process of forgiveness. Whatever the case may be, in order to truly live a life of happiness and freedom you have to forgive…not for the benefit of others…but for yourself.
If you feel that you are stuck, and don’t know how to forgive, or don’t want to forgive, or need help navigating the path of forgiveness, you may want to work with a life coach. If you have experienced more serious situations in your past in the form of abuse I would encourage you to seek out help from support groups or experienced counselors in that area. You are not alone.
Today make a choice to start the process of forgiveness of yourself and others. Don’t allow the resistance thoughts of “I’m not ready,” or “They don’t deserve it,” or “I could never forgive,” get in the way! This is all about you. You are worth it! Today, make a decision to do whatever it takes to release the darkness and let in the light!
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Ghandi